


walking with dinosaurs

by Captainmintyfresh



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Crack, Emu's everywhere, M/M, Zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 02:38:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21402802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captainmintyfresh/pseuds/Captainmintyfresh
Summary: Tumblr prompt (sort of, It ended up going a bit off track)Prompt: I just have this crazy headcanon of the team getting an emergency call to the zoo and some emus get loose and zero in on Eddie. Eddie goes running and those giant scary looking birds chase after him, and Buck and the rest of the team try to follow after to try and help him, all the while laughing their butts off.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 25
Kudos: 402
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	walking with dinosaurs

As a first responder, Buck had come to learn that there were certain calls that you never wanted to get. Calls that left dread bubbling in your gut and sweat sticking to your palms even before you set foot on the scene. 

The first, the call that every first responder dreaded the most, a call from your own address, or an address you know someone you love is at.

The second, a call from a school. 

The third, a city-wide call. A call that meant you would either be met with a natural disaster or a man-made horror. 

“I’m just saying Zoo calls should be on the list.” Hen said the sirens blared above them, almost drowning out Bucks bark of laughter.

“Zoo calls don’t belong on the list.” Buck said. “You really feel the same amount of dread for this call as you would if we got a call from your house?”

“Of course not the same amount.” Hen argued. “But you can’t say you want to go on a Zoo call.

“Of course I can. Zoos are awesome.” Buck said. 

“To visit, not to save someone at.” She continued. “I mean, it’s always just some dumbass who’s jumped into an enclosure and then acts shocked when they get attacked.”

“I don’t care what you say, I’m looking forward to it.” Buck shrugged. 

“I agree with Hen. Zoo calls suck.” chimney said.

“You’re just scared it’s going to be snakes.”

“I’m not scared. I just don’t like the idea of jumping into an enclosure with a wild animal.”

“The animals have probably been shot by now.” Hen grumbled.

“You’re looking at this the wrong way.-”

“Oh, and what’s the right way to look at the pointless slaughter of an animal?”

“...Free trip to the zoo?” Buck tried, Hen scoffed.

“We’re not there to sightsee, Buck.” Bobby said.

“Obviously we save the person first-” Buck said. “But afterward we can at least see a leopard or something right?”

“No.” Bobby said. Buck could hear his smile.

“Oh come on Cap. One enclosure? It can be a bonding experience for the team.”

“You keep it up you’re staying in the truck.” Bobby hummed. Buck threw his head back against the seat with a groan. “You want the Zoo you go in your own time.”

“This sucks.” Buck said. Eddie’s thigh nudged his, drawing his attention to the man next to him.

“We can take Christopher to the Zoo.” Eddie offered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie smiled. “The second Christopher finds out I went to the Zoo on a call he’s going to insist I bring him here. Might as well wait till you have a day off and make you suffer through it as well.”

“We totally have to go when they’re doing feedings,” Buck said.

“You realize you just signed yourself up to watching two kids instead of one, right?” Chimney said.

“I hope a lion eats you.” Buck said cheerfully.

*

“It’s like Jurassic Park.” Buck murmured, looking at the grand gates of the entrance to the Zoo’s safari as they inched through, nose pressed against the window to get a better look. 

“Let’s hope the animals are smaller.” Chimney murmured. Buck let Eddie tug him back into his seat, excitement rolling through him. A Zoo call was one thing, a call out in a Zoo’s safari a whole other ball game. 

“Did someone get eaten?” Buck blurted, turning to the ZooKeeper they’d picked up before entering the safari.

“I think what Buck means is what are we working with?” Bobby said diplomatically. 

“No one’s been eaten.” The zookeeper assured. “A teenager had their phone stolen by one of the animals out of the safari and decided to get out of the car and try to get it back.” Hens head snapped to Buck, eyebrows wiggling in a clear told you so’ gesture. Buck poked his tongue out at her. “She managed to follow her phone up a tree before she got stuck.”

“She’s stuck in a tree?” Eddie asked.

“Yes.”

“So...Wait, that means we're really like properly getting out of the truck right? Walking the Safari?” Buck grinned. Eddie elbowed him softly.

“Yes, we will need to exit the vehicle and walk a fair way to get to her. 

“There’s not like, any lions out there, right?” Chimney asked, peering through the windows. Buck snorted a laugh, Eddie’s thigh bumped his, Buck turned to see him roll his eyes dramatically at Buck even as a grin split across his face.

“All our big cats are in the next portion of the safari.” The keeper said. “There’s three gates between here and there.”

“So what is in here?” Buck asked. 

“Mostly Barbary Macaques.” 

“Macawhats?”

“Macaques. They’re monkeys. I would suggest keeping your gear secure, they do enjoy stealing whatever they can get a hold of.”

“What do you mean mostly monkeys?” Chimney asked.

“This area was originally for only for our Emu’s but the macaques snuck through the fence a few years back. We decided to relocate the macaque here permanently when fixing the fences. Now we use their old enclosure for our wolf pack.”

“The Emus don’t mind sharing their home?”

“They’re both curious creatures by nature. They seem to enjoy the mixed company. There’s a good chance they’ll come to say hello so try to stay calm. They’re unlikely to become aggressive.”

“Unlikely?” Chimney gaped.

“Can we pet them?”

“No, Buck” Hen sighed.

“I’m not helping you if you get bitten by a monkey.” Eddie murmured.

“Do they bite?” Chimney asked.

“Everyone out of the truck.” Bobby ordered. 

*

The zookeeper hadn’t been lying when he’d said they’d have to walk. Five minutes after they’d hopped out of the truck and they were still going. Picking through the sparse trees littered near the Safari’s path, footsteps cracking twigs as they followed the singular pair of human footprints wandering off the track. 

Buck’s next footstep froze as a weight suddenly settled on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly, eyes bulging as he saw the monkey perched like a little angel. Its hand reached out, cupping around his head to keep steady as he let his foot hit the ground gently.

“Guys! Guys look!” Buck breathed. “There’s a monkey!”

“You don’t say.” Chimney said, distinctly unimpressed voice drawing Buck’s attention. He snorted out a laugh as he spotted the baby Macaque sitting on top of Chimney’s head. Hen let out a soft squeak as another dropped from the trees onto her shoulders, a smile lighting her face the moment she caught sight of it.

“Told you it shouldn’t be on the list.” Buck said smugly.

“Shut up, Buck.” Hen laughed. 

Buck turned back to the monkey on his shoulder, lifting a hand slowly towards it, it reached out with one hand, warm little fingers curling over his as it tugged his hand over, searching for anything in, on, or under his hand. When it was sure he had no treats it launched off, scurrying back towards the trees. 

“Come back, little guy.” Buck cooed. “Come on buddy, please.”

“Buck.” Eddie called. Buck turned, lighting up when he saw a monkey roughly the length of a watermelon perched on Eddie’s forearm like a falcon. 

“Ohh, dude. It's so cute” He gushed, creeping closer. “-Hey beautiful.” He held out a hand, glee filled him as the monkey leaped from Eddie’s wrist to land on his own. It’s coarse brown fur brushing his cheek as it scurried up his arm to rest at his shoulder.

“I think it likes you.” Eddie said.

“You reckon I could steal it?” Buck joked as the monkey’s hand scratched at his forehead as it clamored over his head to the other shoulder. 

“Alright everyone, let’s remember we’re at work, not a petting zoo.” Bobby called. A large macaque dangling from the bag in his hand.

“Reckon we have time for a few photos?”

A shrill screech echoes from the treetops. The monkeys scattered. Scurrying back into the trees with a dexterity that made petty jealousy eek into Buck as he watched them swing around the branches and launch themselves high into the treetops.

“Thank God.” Chimney breathed, dusting off his head:

“I think they’re camera shy.” Eddie said, clapping buck on the shoulder. 

“Oh look, our flocks come to see what all the fuss is about.”

“Your what?” Chimney asked, spinning on his heel. Buck turned as well, spotting the line of birds on the horizon. “What are they doing? They’re not going to come over here are they?”

“Maybe. Wouldn’t you come over and see what a guest was doing in your home?”

“Let’s keep moving.” Bobby ordered. The group moved on, footsteps crunching on fallen leaves.

*

“Okay, they are getting closer right? it’s not just me.” Chimney asked five minutes later Buck looked behind them to find the Emus still there, hovering over the horizon, definitely closer than before. Buck squinted as he followed the gaze of the closest one, seemingly right to Eddie.

“Not just you.” Hen said.

“..Does it look like they’re looking at Eddie to anyone else?” Buck asked.

“Very funny.” Eddie scoffed, shouldering past him. The birds moved forwards in tandem, inching further over the horizon like a strange little army.

“I don’t think he’s kidding.” Chimney said. “They’re looking right at you.”

“No, they’re not.” Eddie huffed.

“They might be.” The keeper said. “They are known to fixate on people.” Chimney took three dramatic steps away from Eddie. “If you follow me the guest is this way.” Bobby and Chimney moved to follow him. 

Buck waved to the Emu’s, they ignored him. Eddie took a step. Their eyes followed like those from painting in haunted houses.

“Seriously why are they looking at me?” Eddie breathed.

“Like he said, they’re curious creatures. When they find someone interesting they’re known to follow them, even in the wild.” Hen said.

“Follow them?” Eddie asked voice edged with uncertainty. He took a step back, the flock took another step forward.

“Aww, you made some friends.” Buck snorted.

“They’re just curious.” Hen reiterated. “Ignore them.” She took off after Bobby and Chimney. Buck cast one last glance at Eddie, still in a staring contest with the Emus before he scurried after Hen, falling into step with her. 

“How do you know so much about animals? I mean, every time we get a call to do with animals you bust out all these facts.”

“I watch a lot of animal planet.”

“Do you think you were like a vet in a past life?” Buck inquired. Hen shot him an unimpressed look.

“I think-” Her reprimand was cut off as their radios crackled. 

“Cap we have a problem.” The two turned around at Eddie’s radio call. Eddie was still in the same position as they’d left him. The Emu’s however, had moved forward to form a semi-circle around him. Heads snapping from side to side as they seemed to size him up with their beady gaze.

“They’re not like… dangerous, right?” Buck said, taking a half step towards Eddie as he noticed a few of the birds were actually a few inches taller than his friend.

“Eddie, you’re fine.” Hen said into her radio. “-just don’t make any-” Eddie took a clumsy step back, then another, and another before he was spinning on his heels and sprinting in the opposite direction. “Sudden movements.” She finished tiredly as the hoard of Emu’s took off after him. Long legs bounding across the floor with impressive speed. 

Eddie’s scream as he noticed them following tore through the otherwise quiet field.

“Holy crap, they can run.” Buck said.

“So can Eddie.” Chimney snorted.

“Eddie? Diaz, are you okay?” Bobby's voice crackled through the radio.

“They’re going to kill me!” 

“You uh, ever seen this in one of your nature documentaries?” Buck asked, watching as the Emus gained on Eddie and his screams switched to frantic Spanish yells.

“No. Pretty sure Dennys watched this episode of road runner though.” hen said, voice cracking with laughter. Buck quickly found his own honking laughter joining in. 

“Five bucks says he runs off a cliff.” Buck said.

“Ten says an anvil drops on him.” Chimney called, his laughter merging with there’s. Eddie disappeared over the horizon. The pounding of Emu feet following him.

“I need back up!” their radios roared. Buck clutched Chimneys arm for support as he keeled over, great guffaws of laughter leaving his sides stinging. 

“Hello?! Is someone there?!” The laughter stopped as suddenly as it started, all eyes snapping to the trees, a slither of red could be seen at the top of one of them. “Help me! I’m stuck!”

“Alright Hen, Chim you’re with me. Buck, go help Diaz.”

“Always get the fun jobs.” Chimney muttered as Buck took off in the direction Eddie had disappeared.

*

Eddie was easy to find, or, at least, the Emus were easy to find. The flock wandering around the fire truck, beaks snapping at the shining metal curiously. Buck shuffled towards it slowly, eyeing the birds with trepidation. He understood why Edde had run. They were huge, their long bodies bobbing as they prowled around the truck.

“Nice birdie.” Buck breathed, as he shuffled towards the doors. One eyed him, head twisting left, then right, brown eyes glinting in the sun before it bounded past him to peck at the ground. He continued, slow steps, even breathing. 

Relief rushed through him when he heard Eddie’s furious muttering floating through the cracked open window

“Oh Eddie, Eddie mira un lindo mono, bueno, ¿sabes qué, Buck? A la mierda los monos, ¿a quién carajo le importa? Y a la mierda llevar a Christopher al zoológico. No voy a ser perseguido por pájaros demoníacos de nuevo, malditos pájaros que parecen velociraptors. Ve a los bolos como las familias normales. Estúpido-” Eddie yelped as Buck opened the door and tumbled inside. He shut the door behind him before any of the emus could get their heads in the way.

“Relax, it’s just me.” He snorted. “They can’t open doors you know.” Eddie shot him a glare that had the smile falling from Buck's face. “Holy shit dude.” He winced, looking at a trail of blood dripping from a split in Eddie's lip. “Did they do this to you?”

“Yes.” Eddie huffed, dabbing at the blood. Half his uniform covered in dirt. “No.” he corrected Buck’s eyebrows crept up his forehead. “Sort of. I….they were trying to peck me and I kneed myself in the face trying to cover up.” Buck wheezed out a hiss of laughter. 

“Si, ríete. Ya veremos que tan gracioso lo encuentras cuando estén picoteando tu linda cara.” Eddie grumbled bitterly, even as pink rose in his cheeks.

“Okay man, I have no idea what you said but I'm fairly sure it was an insult.”

“Pendejo.” 

“Now I know that was an insult:” Buck grinned. 

“It’s not funny Buck. I was almost killed.” Buck didn’t even try to stop the laughter booming out of him. Eddie shoved himself off the seat. Moving towards the door that really, they both know that he couldn't use unless he wanted to be accosted by a flock of Emus again. Even so, Buck darted out a hand, catching his wrist before Eddie could find himself trapped with nowhere to storm off to.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Buck choked out, trying to blink the tears of mirth from his eyes. “I’ll stop.” he lied. 

“You’re an ass.” Eddie said stiffly.

“Oh come on, If this happened to me you’d be laughing.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” Eddie said petulantly. Buck shoved him back onto the seat. “I’m a better person than you.”

“Well, The Emus certainly seemed to like you.” 

“This is you stopping?” Eddie sneered a move that he seemed to regret instantly when it tugged at his lip, his fingers prodded softly at the broken skin. “Fuck.”

“Aww. Did you give yourself a booboo.” Buck pouted, Eddie shut him a filthy glare. “Want me to kiss it better?” 

“Yes.” Eddie said. Buck reeled back as if slapped.

“What?” he choked. Eddie’s lips twitched, shoulders squaring as he sat up straighter, chin tipping up defiantly. 

“Kiss it better.” He drawled.

“I-uh...I mean- what?” Buck floundered, watching as smug satisfaction seemed to ooze off of Eddie as he preened like one of the damn Emu’s outside. 

“That’s what you get for-” Eddie started, Buck dove forwards. Smashing their lips together. Eddie’s head hit the back of the seat with a thump, their teeth clinked together uncomfortably. Buck pulled back just as quickly as he dove in, raising an eyebrow at Eddie and ignoring the stutter of his heart begging him not to pull away.

“Better?” Buck asked, faux casually. Eddie gaped. “Need me to do it again?” He challenged. Eddie’s head dipped once in a nod before it was aborted.

“No, it’s better.” Eddie said. “I- uh...I didn’t think you’d do it. I was trying to embarrass you.” Buck flopped down next to him. Shoulders knocking.

“Yeah, I got that.” Buck said. “You should know better than to challenge a Buckley.” Eddie’s finger went back to probing at the split in his lip. Buck could taste copper against his tongue. Silence crept around them, an Emu’s beak snapped against the window. Somewhere a monkey howled.

*

“I still stand by a Zoo call being on the list!” Hen argued. The engine rocked beneath them. The highway zipped past outside the windows.

“We had monkeys sitting on us! How is that a bad call?” Buck exclaimed.

“I agree with Hen.” Eddie grumbled. “Zoo calls suck.”

“You’re just upset you’re a chick magnet.” Buck said, giggling at his own joke, he raised his hand chimneys palm hit his in an echoing high five. 

“I can’t believe you got attacked by Emu’s.” Chimney cackled.

“Best call ever.”

“Hey, Buck?” Hen said.

“Yeah?” 

“You got a little blood on your lip.” She said sweetly. Eddie snorted out a laugh. Buck felt his cheeks burning as red as the fire truck exterior.

**Author's Note:**

> Eddie's Spanish (A huge thank you to justlooking-forlove on tumblr for translating these for me)
> 
> 1) "Oh Eddie, Eddie mira un lindo mono, bueno, ¿sabes qué, Buck? A la mierda los monos, ¿a quién carajo le importa? Y a la mierda llevar a Christopher al zoológico. No voy a ser perseguido por pájaros demoníacos de nuevo, malditos pájaros que parecen velociraptors. Ve a los bolos como las familias normales. Estúpido-” - "Oh Eddie, Eddie look a cute monkey, well you know what Buck, fuck monkeys, who gives a shit. and fuck taking christopher to the zoo. i'm not getting chased by demons birds again mother fucking velociraptor birds. Go bowling like normal families. Stupid-"
> 
> 2) "Si, ríete. Ya veremos que tan gracioso lo encuentras cuando estén picoteando tu linda cara" - Yeah laugh it up. We'll see how funny you find it when they're pecking off your pretty face


End file.
